Had lunch w/ the in laws today. I was happy that we were able to keep the conversation light even though we were discussing Pap who is not well and in a nursing home. It is funny how we all feel that he should not be there but yet there he is. At the moment his insurance is covering the cost as long as he makes progress in PT. I wish that there was more that Hubs and I could do for the situation; either financially or physically. The truth is we are barely hanging on as it is.

I am looking forward to feeding cereal to Butter Bean. I will make an appointment this week for his shots and check up. I hate shots, although his 4 set went better than the singe he got at the first visit. I also always look forward to seeing how much weight he has gained too. I really like being a Mom and I look forward to having more kids someday by my body or not.

In mother news:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16720167/

Lady Clinton is wanting to be Pres. This should be an interesting run. It is weird to think that if she breaks through and becomes Pres. she will be noted in every history book from here on out Every fart will be sniffed measured scrutinized and recorded for EVER. i like the idea of a woman in the Pres position but more importantly it needs to be the Right person for the job, or there could be major setbacks for women in our country. I am not sure she is the right lady for the job.

Not only is it my 8th wedding anniversary but it is also the anniversary of when I found out that I was going to have a Peanut :) It is hard to believe that it was a year ago. Hoyt is making me dinner tonight which I expect to eat promptly around midnight (at the rate we are going).

It is interesting that evolution keeps popping up in my science based classes. I can see that the application to bacteria and other animals fits but I don't see that humans and dogs all evolved out of the same 'egg' if you will. Although we have learned in church that God made all things, and that are humans are made in his likeness. What is to say that DNA is not in the likeness of God ans that is why we are all appearing related? How many years would it really take to have a single organism branch off into so many complex species and in environments that are not so different as to explain why we need X numbers of species in one small geographical area?

In sociology we have looked at evolution as well as the fun topic of economic determinism - or that things in life are built around your means of survival. According to this idea your gods would be based on your means of survival as well hunters and gatherers with their nature spirits, and being one with the land, Agriculture looking to the sun and rain gods to help provide, Industrialists look to people to explain and interpret.
So where are we now? Are we an egoistical society that looks for power within themselves to heal and provide? Is it in our technology or something reachable through academia? Is God DNA and we should look into all that is inside? It sure seems to have a lot of the world's mysteries wrapped within the double helix.

And I can never think of God without blowing my mind out on the time/prayer continuum. If God knows everything that is happening and all things happen for a reason, and he has a plan for our lives then why bother? Where is the free will what choices do I really make? I think that I made the choice to return to school but if I had to be there to fulfill some destiny I guess I had to go. If I didn't then I might mess up many other peoples destinies (what pressure).

The closest I have ever been to understanding this came when I was studying philosophy. I got the idea that it was like the director of a improv-movie. He knows where it is going but not every line along the way.
Sunday though it was represented as God has planned every detail of your life? What? He knew I was going to trip on the dog on the way to the potty and pee my pants? He could have warned me...
On a more serious note I know that people find comfort in the idea that every thing is planned, but it just bothers me. I feel that I have several choices. One being to try to keep learning and thinking the matter through hoping for an answer. Two being to ignore what I know and just accept that God has a plan for me. Three is to try to find a balance between sci. and rel. I also know that I do not want to live in a world without God so I hope that I find him in all that I do.

We traveled to the beautiful Atlantic Station today for an outing. It was slightly disapointing in that the stores were the same old crap that you see in every mall. And the smiling happy people in the ads were nowhere to be found. The resteraunts were intriguing but we were not ready to eat yet. We also through in the IKEA adventure, and an O'Charleys lunch to make the day complete. All in all it was a good day.

Hubby and discussed our upcoming year a little bit. He is hopng for more $$ and I am hoping for more fun. I think both are in the same direction. We also talked about feeling disconnected from church and our friends. I am not sure if it is our fault, their fault or just something that happens to every new parent. In any case I plan to step back out their and start getting my name out in the world again.

in mother news:

There is a story of a teenage boy who was kidnapped and then returned to his family and they also found a boy that had been held captive for four years.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16612257/

What happens to a person who is held captive for four years while in their critical teen years. Neighbors said they saw the guy playing outside and assumed that he was the bad guys son. Why didn't he run. Was he afraid of what would happen? Was he told lies by the captor, maybe that his parents sold him or something? Maybe the guy was nice and bought him his favorate ice cream to eat everynight. Or something worse, sexual and abusive.

Is it better to be abused in a way that makes you hate your captor, or to be treated half wa decent and get stockholm's, which outsiders rarely understand?

I wish the best for both of the teens and hope that their families have had a strong and positive influence in their lives, so that they may overcome this truly unfortunate event. (If you can call 4 years an event)

This weekend hubby and I are celebrating our 8th anniversary. It honestly does not feel like 8 years have gone by, although we have both grown and changed a lot since then. We have had some really rough times and some really good times. The main thing that I am feeling with this years anniversary is that time is so fleeting. I am concerned about our willingness to sit by and let our evenings together slip away to the TV and computer. So for the year coming up I wish to have more fun, spend more time up and about and laugh a whole lot more. I want our health to be better and all the good things that go with it. I know this time next year I would like to be saying how much fun we had over the last 12 months and that I can't wait to do it again.

In mother news:
They have been discussing how kids have been running into Porn by accessing the internet with their Nintendo Wiis. I hate that everything get's ruined for kids by adults acting crummy. It is scary to think that so many things that look like they are for kids end up being something that has the potential to warp them. It makes me want to move to the woods and eat sticks and berries.

I woke up this morning w/ a headache big enough to put Andre the Giant on his knees. I feel lucky that BB allowed me to sleep and recovery without needing me too much. (Just feeding and cuddling). I would have been pissed off to have missed a day of school in the first week so I am glad that I did not have a class scheduled for this morning.

Back to Andre...

I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be 7ft tall and some 380 lbs. Normal life stuff must have been a pain in the ass; movie theaters, bus seats, resteraunt booths, Ford Escorts would all have been taboo for this big Dude.

This evening Biol class meets for the 2nd time. We are going over basic chemistry. YUCK!

I think that I will like my SOCI class this semester. My prof looks like a George Lucas w/ a small hint of Kenny Rogers. When he talks a small onion on a string dances threatheningly between his lips. Sometimes the onion flies free smacking innocent bystanders, othertimes it is arrested by the toungue police and taken away.

It is noe time to freshen up before school so that I do not reak of breast milk and spit up in class.